In your activemq.xml file, you need make sure useJmx is true on your broker element:
<broker xmlns="http://activemq.org/config/1.0" brokerName="localhost" useJmx="true">
and ensure that you have a management context
<managementContext>
<managementContext createConnector="true" connectorPort="1099"/>
</managementContext>
From there it is just a matter of making sure you can connect over TCP to your broker on port 1099 or whatever port you specify. This doesn't work quite so straightforward on services like EC2 or anything that does some heavy NAT'ing: http://jmsbrdy.com/monitoring-java-applications-running-on-ec2-i
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