I would say the best thing to do is benchmark it yourself on your particular environment and workload. Seems like there are too many variables (size/number of source files, available memory, disk caching, whether your source directory & system headers are located on different disks, etc.) for a one-size-fits-all answer.
My personal experience (on a 2-core MacBook Pro) is that -j2 is significantly faster than -j1, but beyond that (-j3, -j4 etc.) there's no measurable speedup. So for my environment "jobs == number of cores" seems to be a good answer. (YMMV)
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