It sounds like you haven't benchmarked the simplest solution - prepared statements. You say that they "might hurt performance" but until you've tested it, you really won't know.
I would definitely test prepared statements first. Even if they do hamper performance slightly, until you've tested them you won't know whether you can still achieve the performance you require.
Why spend time trying to find alternative solutions when you haven't tried the most obvious one?
If you find that prepared statement execution plan caching is costly, you may well find there are DB-specific ways of tuning or disabling it.
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